Over the last few years… well even longer than that I’ve tried to stop smoking. You might have noticed the word ‘stop’ instead of quit. I just recently noticed that word myself. I guess it’s just a small part of my smoking challenge.
I’ve never liked that word, cause it’s the one thing that I am not. I am the type that doesn’t give up easily. and the word quit to me is a dirty word.
The first time I really tried was years ago when I was diagnose with diabetes. My doctor suggested that I really should give it up. I really didn’t want to at that point but I tried. Well not really but everyone around me wanted to so I just played along and the of course I failed.
Now things are different. I no longer like the person I am. The guy that smokes. The smell that it’s me with a rush every time I open my office door. The ash that’s always on my desk, the floor, the car. I really hate it! Everytime I see it it reminds me of my failed attempts.
What’s even worse than all the above; My daughter Emily asked me the other day “Daddy, why do you like smoking?” If I hadn’t given thought before answering I would have really hated what I said to her. My very first thought was to say it relaxes me.
It was just another reminder that I really need and want to stop.
Ok so right now I have an almost empty pack, so guess what It’s time. I’ve tried all sorts of aids in the past. They have all failed me so this time It’s all on me, my will power and the love of myself and my family. I know I can do it! Just look at all the things in my life I’ve done that I’ve been told I couldn’t do.
Today I liberate myself from this vile, disgusting & cruel habit.